Sunday, January 15, 2006

So You Want to Join AlQaeda?

Application For al-Qaeda Membership

Allahu akbar! So you've decided to join the fastest-growing organization of psychopathic murderers in the world today. Due to the exciting type of work we perform, we always have room for more volunteers, and so we welcome you to our ranks. We'd like to get to know you, while we can, so please answer a few questions for us:

Name: Abu ____________
Real name: __________________
Gender: ______ Male __________ Chattel (if so, stop here)
Marital Status: ____ Single _____ Married (# of wives: ______)

Reason For Interest In al-Qaeda (circle all that apply):
a. Hatred for everything Western, except those hot babes on Baywatch
b. Suicidal impulse but lacking the skills to carry it out
c. Inability to get women to date me
d. Want to travel and see the world before I realize my ambition to destroy it
e. Having 72 inexperienced young girls later sounds better than dealing with one nagging woman now

Would you be willing to relocate? Y/N If Y, in pieces? Y/N

Do you have any of the following disqualifying conditions?
a. Conscience
b. Soul
c. Survival instinct
d. Half a brain or more
e. Fear of flying

Thank you again, mujaheddin, on behalf of al-Qaeda -- an Equal Opportunity Destroyer

Stolen with HT from Captain's Quarters


Neo-Con Tastic said...


Ramjac7 said...

You should send a copy to Osama bin Feingold for his immediate attention.

Anonymous said...

ACLU To The Rescue - Of The Jihadists!

Two lawsuits were filed today, one in New York and the other in Detroit,
seeking to block President Bush's "eavesdropping" program, which monitors
communications between known Al Qaeda operatives and residents of the
United States. The Detroit suit was filed by the American Civil Liberties
Union, the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR), and the radical
environmental group Greenpeace.

The plaintiffs say in the suit that they frequently E-mail and telephone
people in the Middle East and have a "well-founded belief" their
communications are being intercepted. Since the eavesdropping was done by
the National Security Agency in cases where one party is a suspected or
known Al Qaeda operative, do the ACLU, CAIR and Greenpeace really want to
argue that they assume their calls are being monitored?

These leftwing groups, like the leftists in Congress, have a predictable
position: Everything the U.S. tries to do to win the war is wrong,
unconstitutional, illegal, and unacceptable. Whether it is the prison at
Guantanamo Bay, monitoring sites, including mosques, for nuclear radiation,
security checks at airports, air marshals, or drone aircraft attacks on
suspected terrorist hideouts, nothing the president does is acceptable.

from an email from Gary Bauer
Campaign for Working Families

Anonymous said...

"In the name of all mighty Allah" peace for my brother's. My age is 32 and i'm from Dhaka, Bangladesh. I want to blast bomb all the bar in Dhaka at the same time. So plz help me in the name of Ebrahim, Ismail, Moses, Jesus and king of all prophet Mohhamed(p.b.u.h) and peace(p.b.u.them) all. I can die for the law of all mighty Allah, and also i can kill for it. Plz help me to find a Al-Qaida member in Bangladesh. My name is Shafiul Haque my home address is 81/2,4th floor, Boshir Uddin road,Kola Bagan,Dhaka. Mail address