Friday, October 28, 2005

Fatherless Children

Nearly 1.5 million babies, a record, were born to unmarried women in the United States last year, the government reported Friday. And it isn't just teenagers any more.

But last year teens accounted for just 24 percent of unwed births, down from 50 percent in 1970, she commented.

The increases in unmarried births have been among women in their 20s, she said, particularly those 25 to 29.

There were 1,470,152 babies born to single women in 2004, 35.7 percent of all births in the country, NCHS said. That was up from 1,415,995 a year earlier.

"Baby as furniture" in the Acquisition Society.

There are a large number of pathologies which arise from single parenthood, none of them particulary encouraging--and college funding is tough even for two-income parent families...


Scarlette said...

But at least they were born, Dad.

Shana said...

I am a member of a mommies board, and in a group where we're all due in June. At least 6 or so are unwed (some still in the process of divorce but pregnant by their new boyfriends). Many of them are complaining that they do not get support from those around them, simply because they are not married. They feel that they should not be social pariahs just because they are unwed.

I think the growing problem is that more and more people are having sex outside marriage, and think that it's okay. Now, many women are getting pregnant, and think that's okay too. Women are waiting longer to get married because they are focusing on their careers, so when they start nearing 30 and realize their biological clock is ticking away, they realize they want a child. Not necessarily a husband (that would take all the fun out of it, wouldn't it), but they want a child and will do anything to get one. They see themselves as the next group to throw of their pariah status (if gays are accepted, why can't we be?), and it's very scary to see.

Dad29 said...

Scar: "While we amputated the wrong arm, I'm pleased to tell you that the surgery was successful," said the doctor.

There's an analogy there, Scar...

Shana's commentary is insightful. The fact that the childred were NOT aborted says something about the culture of Mammon in which we live, and whose curdled milk we drink, willingly.

There's a reason those babies were born and it's called illicit orgasm. In some cases, it's to obtain the welfare bucks.

Todd said...

More troubling are the millions of children worldwide who have neither mothers nor fathers. Not to limit the seriousness of this discussion about unfathered kids, but there are more grave parenting situations.

When adult mortality was higher, prior to 1900, children had to make do with fewer than two parents. Most, but not all children benefitted from the presence of extended family members, or perhaps, the rest of the village.

The Christian response is to tidy up complaining about how things are, and rolling up one's sleeves to actually do something about it.

Dad29 said...

Thanks for the Christian perspective, Todd.

I tell female children to keep their knees together until they are married.

And Caritas is an excellent worldwide charity.

Scarlette said...

I understand your point, Dad, but what about the fathers? Why is it all about the unwed mother?
I notice you said you tell female children to keep their knees together until they are married. I'm curious about what you say to the male children.

Maybe I grew up an orphan because my father left my mother. She didn't take the easy way out. She gave me life despite the fact that she might be looked upon by some people as a slut who couldn't "keep her knees together".

So, the only family I have are some nice old nuns. This is the result of "illicit orgasm" on both sides. And, as is usually the case, one side was a bigger coward than the other.

We should get some statistics on that.
How many men run out on women they impregnate?

I'm not trying to be disrespectful, Dad. I just don't think it should always be the mother who is being scandalized.

Dad29 said...

Now that you ask, Scar, I've told my male chilluns to "keep their hands off!!!" women.

There are a lot of men who are sleazeballs; this should not come as a revelation. And I'm not trying to "pass the blame" to women. You correctly observe that there are two sides to the illicit orgasm.

Like it or not, however, the woman has the "last clear chance" to avoid intercourse, barring rape.

Which then brings up another question--how'd they get into that, ah, proximity, in the first place?

Scarlette said...

Unless you go everywhere with your kids or don't allow dating, then you're taking chances. Even the best brought up girls get pursuaded into that proximity.

My mother was brought up by very strict german parents (allegedly) who let her date at 16 (allegedly) a nice boy (not). Maybe he was told "hands off" too, just like my mother probably was told "keep your knees together".

When I have kids, they aren't going to be allowed to date ever. They are all going into seminaries and/or convents when they reach the age of 16.

I'm going to Church now, so I'll pray for your girls that they don't get tempted by some boy that "loves them". And for your boys too, that they never lie to a girl and get them into that proximity.

Big hugs

Dad29 said...

Thanks for your prayers--we do the same, Mass at 11:30 AM.

Best wishes in your convent/sem idea. At one time I thought of simply building a wall around our property and having Mother Theresa flyover and bless the place, making it a convent.

Probably should have done that...

Shana said...

I struggle in many ways, with both sides of the argument. While I believe that women should not be getting pregnant unmarried in the first place (and yes, the man is just as much to blame here), to tell them they are not still loved goes against Christian nature. We are to love these people as much as anyone else (which is not to say that we are accepting of their behavior). To see that more women are choosing not to abort their babies is heartening. But we are fighting against a culture of 'do whatever you want adn don't take full responsibility for your actions'. These women and young girls are taught that it's okay to have sex with whomever you want, as long as you're protected. Yet, when push comes to shove, someone forgets about that protection at the wrong time, and pregnancy results.
Being the illegitimate child of one of these unions, I must say I am very glad not to have been aborted, and it was something my mother considered at that time. But, had I been aborted, there would be 5 little children who would not be here today. I hope to teach my children the difference between courtship and dating, but thankfully I have a little ways to go before that becomes more prevalent. We're still trying to teach the oldest how to read.