From Sonya, who lives a lot closer than we are:
Enter Mexico illegally; nevermind the immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family. ($1 billion per year's worth)
Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. (California)
Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. (Texas real estate forms are statutorily mandated in English and Spanish) [In Wisconsin, demand a home mortgage from Guaranty Savings or Mitchell Bank!!]
Procreate abundantly to increase your free benefits.
Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It's a cultural thing. You wouldn't understand."
Keep you American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.
Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.
Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.
Demand a local Mexican drivers license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal presence in Mexico.
Good luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead, because it will never happen in Mexico or any other country you might choose -- only here in the USA.
You will note that LEGAL immigrants do NOT utilize this list of demands...
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