10. Multilateral Limited-Theater Kineticized Response Protocol
9. It's not a war, the president just has a bad case of Kaboomey-Pants
8. Extreme Diplomacy
4. "The Greatest Game of Golf Ever Played"
3. It's like giving your kid a "time out" except instead of taking away his TV privileges you bomb his presidential compound
2. Really just a kind of sanctions, but "dark, edgy" sanctions with "attitude" and a "troubled, mysterious past"
Of course, there's Urkel's Big-But-Indirect Sandbox Adventure. But that is too close.
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