Monday, April 14, 2008

Hildebeeste's Counter-Obama Move

As reported by Scrappleface:

Sensing an opportunity to portray Sen. Barack Obama as elitist and out of touch after his remarks about “bitter” rural Americans who cling to guns, God and xenophobia, Sen. Hillary Clinton stopped after church today at an indoor gun range, where she fired roughly 300 rounds through a handgun she said she carries concealed everywhere she goes.

Her lower lip bulging from a dip of Skoal, Sen. Clinton put her Bible in her handbag, and drew out her own Para Ordnance Warthog .45 caliber pistol.

As reporters looked on, the Democrat presidential candidate emptied one 10-round magazine after another, with fair accuracy, at a human silhouette target.

“Small town folk like us,” said Sen. Clinton, “don’t cling to God or guns because we’re bitter about the economy, as my opponent suggests. We believe in God because he’s real, and we
keep and bear arms as the best insurance against tyrants who would strip our freedoms if they didn’t fear our collective power.”

As for the economy, the candidate said, small-town people haven’t been sitting on their hands since the steel and textile mills closed 25 years ago.

“We’re Americans,” she said, “We’re not a bunch of cry babies. Things change. We deal with it. We suck it up, learn a new skill, and do something else to earn the money we need to buy stuff, you know, like Bibles and bullets.”

Probably practicing for her grudge-match w/Dick Cheney (see below).

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