Living Proof That.....

Briggs is living proof that Stats-Profs are not entirely sterile creatures.  I'll just repost this in full.

 

‘Twas the night before Boosters, when all round the floors,
The doctors and coroners were forming a corps;

The beds were made ready for the bodies to come,
For the clots and the strokes and the heart stopping fun;

The nurses with cellphones were twerking and dancing;
With hopes all their TikToks would be so entrancing;

I was out for some air to wander and roam,
But I forgot my vax passport, and turned back toward home;

When ahead in the distance, emerging from fog,
Came a white-frocked flash demon, a face like a frog.

In each hand was a grant, to fund Chinese labs;
To make bugs stronger, to put bodies on slabs.

“I have succeeded,” he said, “In my fell research”,
“The world now worships me as if I were the Church.”

“You!” he said, while pointing at me, “Where is your mask?”
“You must put one on now, you must do as I ask!”

He was so nasty, so mean, so putrid and grouchy,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Fauci.

He jumped on a car and and called it his chariot,
“It was I!” he said, “I, yes I, who created each variant!”

“Now, Alpha! Now, Beta! Now Gamma and Delta!
On Omicron, on Mu, on Eta and Theta!”

“To stop up the air, to clog up each lung
To cause us despair, to swell up each tongue!”

I told him that though his scheme did kill many,
Most survived just fine, nor symptoms have any.

He passed by this comment, it went as unheard,
He was puffed out his chest, then he spoke out this word:

“Creating the queer bug was only the start;
Next came the vax, the real state of our art.”

“No drug could do better, none could excel,
In pumping up bank books, to cause money to swell.”

I said I heard of that drug, and that it did little,
It’s powers of healing were really quite brittle.

“I will say that it ceases all your infections;
My claims will be safe, there will be no inspections.”

His voice—how it crackled! his pimples, how scary!
He made sounds like a disgruntled old fairy!

I asked of the bad parts, and the harms that vax makes,
Of myocarditis, of strokes and their shakes?

He said Bah! and humbug, that he’d not take the bait;
That he’d get old Biden to form a mandate.

“If you stay unjabbed you’ll lose friends and lose jobs;
Your noses will daily be probed and be swabbed.”

I said this was crazy and that his plan must fail;
This critique made him mad and he began to rail.

“Did you really not know I am Science itself?!”
He showed his true soul, a right angry old elf.

He spoke no more words, but went straight to his work,
And filled his syringes; then turned with a smirk;

I could see it was me that he wanted to needle,
But I refused to give in, I would not wheedle.

I reached in my jacket and pulled out my Colt,
He held up both hands, and he turned quick to bolt;

But I heard him exclaim, in one last defiance,
“Double Boosters to all — and follow The Science!”