Believe it or not, some dingbat had suggested that schoolchildren be taught to 'throw anything you can find' at an active school shooter. It's supposed to help, ya'know.
You can look it up; I won't.
So The Onion decided a little satire would be fun.
According to reviews this week of Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller Zero Dark Thirty,
which chronicles the 10-year hunt for Osama bin Laden, the film’s
climactic scene features a team of U.S. Navy SEALs shrieking in terror
as they gradually kill the al-Qaeda leader by throwing a variety of
nearby objects at him. “The mood is tense and silent as SEAL Team Six
infiltrates the infamous Abbottabad compound, but then all hell breaks
loose when bin Laden emerges from behind a door, causing the whole
squadron to start yelling wildly as they pelt him with shoes, cups, and
flimsy pieces of drywall,” wrote New York Times film critic
Manohla Dargis, who mentioned that the hectic five-minute sequence shows
bin Laden stumbling around with his head stuck in a sweatshirt thrown
by one of the SEALs, bashing into various fixtures and shouting, “Ow,
If even The Onion gets it, .......
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