Friday, December 08, 2006

Stop Drinking the Water!

Our ineffably condescending Federal Gummint (along with WI DNR) has determined that you are in danger of death or serious illness if you drink water in the following Wisconsin communities:

Allenton, Allouez, April Aire Mobile Home Park in Menasha, Arbors Water System Trust in Delafield, Belleview, Brookfield, DePere, Eagle, Ethan Allen School in the Town of Delafield, Fond du Lac, Forest Junction, Germantown, Hartford, Howard, Johnson Creek, Lake Meadows Water Trust in Waukesha, Ledgeview in Brown County, Mary Hill Park Sanitary District in Fond du Lac, New Berlin, Peshtigo, the City of Pewaukee, Village of Pewaukee, Princeton, Southern Wisconsin Center in Union Grove, Sussex, Tomah, Union Grove, Waterford and Waukesha.

Although this may come as a complete surprise to the hundreds of thousands of people who lived and worked in those areas and who successfully lived full and productive lives, Your Gummint has determined that all that is just....history. Meaningless. Tripe.

Please erase "history" from your files and begin anew.

Stop drinking water immediately. Go to the nearest "safe" water source for your drinking-water needs. Bring your toothbrush along.

That is all.

No comments: