Solution for Elm Grove Man's Quandary

Here's our Public Service Ad of the week, designed for the Elm Grove resident who has problems with critter-controls.



Velasquez drew laughter and applause when he jokingly suggested sharpshooters also be hired to reduce the squirrels who chewed his Christmas lights, the chipmunks who caused him to sink to his ankles in a hole and the woodpeckers who are making holes in his cedar siding

This fine weapon (thorougly tested by Dad29 for effectiveness) WILL solve your problems, Mr. Velasquez! Now available for only $219.00. (I suggest you get 100 rounds of target ammo for an additional $5.00 or so...)

Noiseless and extremely accurate (five rounds in <1" at 10 yards with iron sights, even better with the scope as shown), the rifle will make short work of chipmunks, squirrels, and woodpeckers, not to mention skunks.

You're welcome.