The Bill of Rights, Redux

This is NOT part of the (D) platform....yet.

By the way, you could substitute "illegal aliens" without many other changes, either.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of foreign terrorists to communicate with each other outside the United States.

Amendment II

The right of foreign terrorists to freely plan and coordinate attacks on the United States shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No intelligence officer shall, in time of peace, monitor terrorist communication, without the consent of a court, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by MoveOn.org.

Amendment IV

The right of the terrorists to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against reasonable surveillance to protect American lives, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No foreign terrorist unlawfully waging war against the United States on foreign soil shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all prosecutions of foreign terrorists captured on foreign battlefields unlawfully waging war against the United States, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits against foreign terrorists captured on foreign battlefields unlawfully waging war against the United States, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted on foreign terrorists captured on foreign battlefields unlawfully waging war against the United States.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the terrorists.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the terrorists by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to MoveOn.org respectively, or to the New York Times editorial board.

HT: RedStates