Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Old, Older, Oldest, Not....

Progress, eh?

The little darlings now entering college don't get some stuff: (and this is LAST year's frosh; for THIS year's class, keep scrolling)

Andy Warhol, Liberace, Jackie Gleason, and Lee Marvin have always been dead.

2. They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors. [or REAL paste...]

5. Boston has been working on the "The Big Dig" all their lives.
[and will PAY for it until they're dead, or longer]

6. With little need to practice, most of them do not know how to tie a tie.

8. They never had the fun of being thrown into the back of a station wagon with six others. [Not a mommy-van--a genuine station wagon.]

11. Philip Morris has always owned Kraft Foods.

16. Voice mail has always been available.

33. Aretha Franklin has always been in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

39. American Motors has never existed. [Nor Nash, Packard, Studebaker...]

54. They never saw the shuttle Challenger fly. [Nor, perhaps, Peggy Noonan's best speech]

62. Tom Landry never coached the Cowboys.

71. Miss Piggy and Kermit have always dwelt in Disneyland.

And you thought that NPR producers were challenged by historical realities...

This year's frosh:

1. The Soviet Union has never existed

4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.

12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.

19."Google" has always been a verb

27. There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA. [And I got an autograph of Lew Alcindor for a brother-in-law....]

34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."

41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.

47. Small white holiday lights have always been in style.

49. They have always been searching for "Waldo." [which is located on Hy. 57 south of Plymouth]

59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.

62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.

71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.

75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

And "the Gap" has always been a store, not a generational reality....

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