Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Only in Washington State?

A friend sent these along.

Rules For Hunting Lawyers

Washington State attorney season and bag limits

1300.01 GENERAL

01. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.

02. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

03. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

04. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

05. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

06. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

07. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

08. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, hospitals, or judges' anuses.

09. If an attorney is elected to government office, shoot to questions asked.

10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.

11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.


1. Yellow Bellied SideWinder 2
2. Two-Faced Tort Feasor 3
3. Back-Stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
4. Big-Mouthed Pub Gut 2
5. Honest Attorney EXTINCT
6. Cut-Throat 2
7. Back-Stabbing Whiner 2
8. Brown-Nosed Judge Kisser 2
9. Silver-Tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty

Only in Washington State? That's a long trip, you know.


Anonymous said...

Some of our founding fathers were lawyers.

Conservative justices are lawyers. You know, the "good guys".

Chances are when you're followers are arrested for implementing the "Buy More Ammo" credo, they'll need lawyers, too.

There's truth to every joke. Why don't you state these rules really apply to liberal barristers? Looks like you're "pulling a Kagan"!

Dave said...

It seems Anonymous has had his/her/its sense of humor surgically removed...

TerryN said...

It was atrophied to begin with.