Stolen without shame from PowerLine.
A Republican walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "Isn't that Jesus over there?" When the bartender said "Yes," the Republican sent over a drink. "Put it on my tab," he said.
A little later a Libertarian walked in. "Say," he said, "Isn't that Jesus sitting over there?" The barman said, "Yes," so the Libertarian sent over a hamburger.
Presently a Democrat showed up, noticed Jesus and sent over a plate of french fries.
Jesus soon left. On his way out he stopped to talk to the Republican. "Thanks for the drink," he said; "It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?" "Well," said the Republican, "I'm facing knee surgery..." "Don't say another word," said Jesus as he laid a hand on the man's knee. "You are healed."
Jesus came to the Libertarian and said, "Thanks for the hamburger. It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?" "Well," said the Libertarian, "I have cataracts..." Jesus placed his fingers on the man's eyes and said, "You are healed."
Finally, Jesus came to the Democrat. He thanked him for the fries and offered him any help he needed. "Don't touch me!" shouted the Democrat, "I'm on Disability!!"
There's more at the link--a few of Biden's remarks from the Gridiron Club dinner, and then an inspirational speech (St. Crispin's Day).
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