Thursday, July 19, 2007

On Building Inspectors

The Mattress Police encounters a Building Inspector.

If you think I.R.S. agents are mean, you should try getting a building inspection some time.

You know what happens to someone who is too much of a jerkwad to work for the I.R.S.? He gets fired and fed to a rabid crocodile, which is then mated with that bitch from The Weakest Link, and then their unholy offspring is raised by hyenas until it's old enough to become a building inspector. That's what happens.


And in regards the required "Continuity Test,"

No longer was he the construction expert barking to the naive amateur about Special Equipment. Suddenly I was the Jedi Master of the Magical Tampon Flashlight and he was the guy who was desperate to conceal the fact that he had no f---ing clue what a continuity test was. I could have clipped the alligator clip to his nose and shoved the prong up his ass and called it continuity. And I'm willing to bet good money the light would have gone on, because that guy had excellent continuity between his head and his ass.

We've encountered Pompous Ass inspectors, too. But never quite as bad as the MP's pal.

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