Monday, February 08, 2010

Infidelity "Strengthens" Marriage. Huh?

Alice in Wonderland travels to San Francisco.

In discussing a new study confirming that polygamy is a staple within gay "marriages," a New York Times article has suggested that doing away with the concept of spousal fidelity in marriage represents an "evolution" that "might point the way for the survival of the institution."

NYT columnist Scott James reported January 28 on a project by San Francisco State University's Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality examining various aspects of homosexual relationships. James says the study, which is scheduled for release this month, "reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many."

"Some gay men and lesbians argue that, as a result, they have stronger, longer-lasting and more honest relationships," the article continues. "And while that may sound counterintuitive, some experts say boundary-challenging gay relationships represent an evolution in marriage — one that might point the way for the survival of the institution."

Colleen Hoff, one of the study's researchers, remarked: "With straight people, it’s called affairs or cheating, but with gay people it does not have such negative connotations.

Sure. Serial cheating is just fine and dandy, so it's just fine and dandy.

Maybe all those PhD's can explain that to my wife's satisfaction. While she's toying with a .357.


Billiam said...

What it all boils down to, is that you can see yourself as a higher being, created by God, and subject to Him. Or, you could see yourself as no better than a dumb animal, rutting whenever the urge takes you. After all, if there is no God, then there are no need for morals and fidelity, as we are little more than animals, not controlled by a higher thought order, but by our urges. Sad, indeed.

John Foust said...

As compared to the frequency of affairs that happen with or without consent in heterosexual relationships?

Dad29 said...

You have statistics on that, John?

Or is this your "straw-dog" day?

John Foust said...

I only asked the question that you seemed to ignore. I didn't claim any stats.

Ask any human behavior researcher, there are plenty of reasons why such measurements are hard to trust - both for the one you're quoting, or any I might find.

There's questions of sample selection, culture, definitions of infidelity, survey methodology, relationship length, whether people tell the truth, etc. If I pick a number, will you declare it too high? How about 40% of husbands, 30% of wives?

I would guess that you are eager to imagine the gayzzz having lots of exciting non-monogamous sexual encounters, and that fine upstanding couples like you never have affairs.

Why must gay relationships act just like hetero relationships? Or more precisely, what you would like to believe is happening in hetero relationships?

Dad29 said...

The post was about the SFSU study, John, not your/my guesses.

John Foust said...

Then what was the point of your post, if it wasn't to look down your nose at the results of this study? You think you couldn't survey hetero couples whose relationship survived an affair and find them claiming that it "made them stronger"?

Let's ask Gayle Haggard. "Our relationship is better than it's ever been," she said. "Going over this mountain together has given me the marriage I've always longed for."