Friday, March 02, 2007

Rules of Engagement

For some of our 22 readers, this will be both fun and personal. It's likely this was written by some Marine type....

Military Rules

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a backup plan.
5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Don't attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber doesn't start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred .)9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the detail ls of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEALs Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust SpeedO
4. Check hair in mirror.

Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted .
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Army Rules:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Send in the Marines.


Jeff Miller said...

Well as a retired Navy Chief "Navy Rules" hits too close to the mark especially for my pre-conversion days.

St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

What's this nonsense about Air Force personnel and a 1345 tee time? The USAF is on civilian time, so it would be 1:45, local Honolulu time.

Leave it to a Marine to have shoddy intel. Maybe we could lend you a satellite?