Opening graf:
Standing on the rim of the gaping two-mile wide chasm of the Grand Canyon in a star-spangled jumpsuit, Joe Biden today announced a new $53 billion federal high speed rail program that will include funding for "SkyTrain X-2," a new experimental locomotive that, if successful, will make him the first known U.S. Vice President to jump the Grand Canyon by rail.
He could take ChooChoo Tommy with him.
"For too long we've stayed on the sidelines and watched the rest of the world eat our lunch in the high speed passenger train game," he said. "Well, let me tell you something Mister and Mrs. John Q. America, we've had our Sputnik moment wake up call and we've stopped hitting the snooze button. When I go flying up that ramp and across that canyon on March 6, dangerous crosswinds permitting, it will send a message loud and clear to the Japanese and Uzbeks and Cameroons - it is on, amigo."
"Woo! Shake and BAKE," added LaHood, in a celebratory chest bumpPut it on PayTV. Revenues will make a big dent in the National Debt!
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