Here's RedState, in what might not be a parody:
(A) Piss off the base.
(B) Make no response to the self-fulfilling claim by the opposition's leaders that "The War is Lost."
(C) Stay away from the Bully Pulpit!!
(D) Continue to push immigration "reform," ignoring the irony inherent in saying that the last six years were so disastrous that it must be fixed now, regardless who stands in the way.
(E) Plug ears and whistle loudly if somebody says "Iraq" (it's easier to live with not defending yourself if you don't hear anything insulting, ever).
(F) Question someone's patriotism. Hmmm.....who would be the easiest target for that? Ah -- conservatives!
(G) Check and see if Harriet Miers is still available. After all, rumor has it that there may be a SCOTUS opening in the next year and a half.
(H) Make a to-do list for Ed Gillespie, just to make sure that he understands his purpose here. Item one on that list: remove from your own to-do list anything that remotely resembles "fighting back," "mounting coherent policy defenses," "legislative prioritizing," or "communicating" in any way.
(I) See if Congress has time on their schedule again today for another visit. After all, that cafeteria food down at the Capitol Building is pretty durn good (and not too expensive), and there's no pressure when there of anybody thinking that I'm actually in charge or anything.
(J) Send my sacrificial lambs from OSI back over to RedState to get walloped in the comments again. Heh -- that's some pretty entertaining readin'. It's not my fault that those RedStaters don't want to do what's best for America.
(K) Anybody got a pretzel?
We might add:
(L) Make certain that NO fines are levied on the employers/enablers of Illegal Aliens. After all, what's good for Lawn Services and Grape Growers is Good For America!!