He tells a story about a couple of his old pals....
Charlie Teets (my best friend in high school, now decades long deceased himself) and I persuaded Bob Frazier to eat a bunch of beans over a period of two days to test the scientific theory that if, (a.) methane was a flammable gas, and (b.) that farts contained significant amounts of methane, that, ergo, (c.) farts were flammable and could be ignited by a lit match. Bob was skeptical but properly encouraged he consumed five cans of pork and beans over a two day period and was properly gassy when the day of the experiment came -- the laboratory being the ground floor boy's restroom of Caledonia Elementary School. Bob insisted upon being paid his two dollars up front -- a sensible precaution. So, paid in advance, Bob bared his cheeks to the wind, gripped the vertical stand pipe of the toilet, bent over at the proper grunting angle, and I readied the matches -- and the wait began. I went through four matches and two burned fingers before Bob produced the raw material in sync with a lit match, and then . . .
FIAT FREAKING LUX!
You'll have to read the rest yourselves. It is hilarious.