Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The Obama Set-Speech for Overseas Delivery

Friggin' brilliant, from Ace/Uncle Jimbo.

This is the speech template from TOTUS whenever Dear Leader is on foreign soil.

Greetings great and mighty culture, I am the Obama leader of New America. I am a cultured, urbane, black man with a Muslim name and I carry no baggage.

Your culture is great and wonderful, your poets brilliant, I will now quote one [insert proper name here] I have never read.

Your food wonderful, I will now mention a dish [insert name here] I have never eaten.

Our countries have had issues in the past and they were all the fault of the old America, run by old white men.

Your country has done no wrong and any history of atrocities or rapaciousness or repression was just a reaction to Western meddling.

I apologize on behalf of the old white men who wronged you.

New America will not judge you, we will not pretend our free culture is better than your backward, tyranny. [oooops!]

We just want you to like me us.

Sometimes the speeches are longer.

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