Stacy McCain Has a Diagnosis

Come to think of it, this disease is real.

BITS!!!!

Biden-Induced Tourette’s Syndrome can be diagnosed by its telltale symptom, as the patient begins loudly shouting obscenities whenever Joe Biden appears on the nearest TV. The mere sound of Biden’s voice seems to cause BITS sufferers to start screaming incoherent sequences of curse words, vulgarities, slurs, epithets and sexualized insults. Researchers have concluded that these symptoms are involuntary and that the expressions voiced are entirely irrational, as the patient does not believe, e.g., that Biden literally sodomized his own mother nor that the President of the United States could literally shove the 4,000-page $1.7 trillion “omnibus” spending bill up his own rectum.

While some BITS sufferers are capable of restraining themselves during brief exposures to Biden — a 30-second sound bite on the news may produce only a slight rage-inspired trembling of the hands, sometimes accompanied by throbbing veins in the forehead — they generally lose control when forced to listen to Biden speak for more than a few minutes....

And all this time I thought I was the only one.