Statistically, C'Mon, Maaaaaaaan!

 Statistics are not dispositive.  And as the Stupid Class will be happy to tell you, they are not "evidence."

But they sure point to areas the Stupid Class should ........oh, well.  Never mind.  We simply responded to this deplorable essay with the answers ANY "reporter" could give.  OK?

...Clearly, high turnout was expected in an intensely political year with vastly expanded access to mail-in voting. But the kinds of numbers reported simply defy reasonable expectations.

For Wisconsin overall, the turnout was above 90% of registered voters. Even in a state with same-day registration, such a number seems implausible.... Milwaukee’s 84% turnout dwarfs Cleveland’s more believable 51% turnout rate. Like many of the suspect statistical trends evident from last Tuesday, the abnormal factors favoring Biden seem only present in the key swing states that Biden allegedly won...,

Silly man.  We all KNOW that Suburban Sallys turned out......oh......wait.........they didn't.  Instead, Tom Barrett whipped up such tornadoes of enthusiasm in Big City that.......ahh..........randomly mailed-out ballots, 243K of them.......filled themselves out and mailed themselves in.  THAT'S IT!!!

 

....Could a candidate as doddering and lazy as Biden really have massively outpaced the vote totals of a politician who boasted rock star appeal?

 

For example, consider that in key Pennsylvania counties of Chester, Cumberland, and Montgomery, Biden bested the Obama election performances by factors of 1.24-1.43 times. For Montgomery County, Obama won this swing county by 59,000 votes in his 2012 re-election. 

 

But in 2020, Biden won Montgomery County by a whopping 131,000 votes, more than twice the prior Obama margin....

Sure.  Why not?  Biden has the suave, the debonair, the charm, and the hairy legs that Montgomery County voters really, really, wanted in the President.  But mostly the hairy legs.

...[nationwide], over 450,000 Biden-only ballots were cast, meaning the voter allegedly selected Biden but then neglected down-ballot candidates, including closely-contested Senate and House races. 

Again, this phenomenon appears far more prominently in battleground states, raising the alarm for manipulation....

No.  After thinking of Biden's hairy legs, voters swooned and were unable to complete the ballots.

 

Did we ever mention that Pennsylvania results smell like the Thilmany Mill?  (If you don't know, just drive past Kaukauna's north side.)  

 

... [In Pennsylvania] Governor Wolf’s election boards clearly just accepted the ballots… en masse, without appropriate vetting. 

 

By their own admission, the scant 0.03% of rejected ballots represents a refusal rate that is just 1/30th the level of 2016 in Pennsylvania.

 

First-time mail-in voters typically see a rejection rate of about 3% historically, or 100 times the rejection rate of Pennsylvania in 2020....

Sheesh.  Don't we all know that Pennsylvania voters are--by far--the most smartest and innerlekshul voters of all times?  NEVER question them, or they'll throw batteries at you.  Or slash your tires at WaWa.

 

See?  There's no doubt about this election at all.  Statistics, schmekctistics.  Fooey.