Advice for Chris Abele--and All Y'All

Chris Abele was the victim of an armed robbery and attempted armed carjacking last night in Shorewood.

Apparently the dumbass goblins do not know how to drive a car with a stick-shift, so they shot the car instead, after having relieved Abele of his wallet.

In order to rob him, they drove their junker in front of his and came to a halt.  Abele also stopped.

Here's where I can help Chris.

When he saw what could ONLY be a goblin get out of the car and approach his car, Abele should have found the gear labeled "REVERSE" and stomped the gas.  WTF were you thinking, Chris, when you sat there like a Big Fat Pasty-White TARGET?

You back up until you can turn it around, and go like Hell toward the cop-shop--which happens to be very close to you, remember?

(It's possible that you could be confused and run over the goblin with the gun, of course.  That would be a tragedy, no?  Since it's not likely they could read, you don't have to worry about them remembering your plate for the cops.)