Accidents? Make Them Illegal!!

Hell, that's the ticket!

In a startling development, the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has unearthed incontrovertible evidence that accidents happen.

Specifically, the commission found that 32 children have died in accidents over the past nine years involving drop-side cribs.

The reasons were many, but seemed to center on caregivers improperly assembling cribs, losing parts, and parts that can break over time as the mechanism ages.

In other words, accidents.

How can we prevent these tragic accidents from occurring?

If you answered, “by properly assembling and maintaining the cribs,” you clearly are not qualified to be a member of the United States Senate.

PlanetMoron has a number of other Senatorial Suggestions in the post--so long as the Senator is as mentally-challenged as Gillibrand.