Pick 'Em: April Fools' Day Headlines

Mix/match or take your pick.

** WH: ALL TARP FUNDS MUST BE RETURNED IN 72 HOURS; NEW PROGRAM TO BE CALLED "CONSUMER RAPE ANALYSIS PROGRAM" (CRAP) BEING ANNOUNCED FRIDAY.

** WH: FBI HOLDER - ALL BANK CEOS TO REMAIN IN US, ARRESTS PENDING.

** WH: BUDGET RESCINDED, NEW BUDGET CUTS FEDERAL SPENDING 70%, BALANCED THIS YEAR.

***MADISON: DOYLE TO RESIGN AND PROCESS SELF INTO MENDOTA, KLEPTOMANIA ADMITTED

***MADISON: RISSER DIED IN OFFICE CHAIR 3 YEARS AGO; STAFFERS IGNORED HIM

***MADISON: GUNDRUM TAKES OVER AS GOVERNOR, CUTS SPENDING 80%, ANNOUNCES TAX REBATES AVERAGING $5,000/PERSON

***MILWAUKEE: AFSCME AGREES TO 20% WAGE CUT, "NO RULES" CONTRACT; BARRETT TO REDUCE PROPTAX 30%

***MILWAUKEE: TEACHERS LEAVE WEAC, ACCEPT "CHOICE SCHOOL" PAY/BENEFIT PACKAGE. MPS TO ISSUE 50% LEVY DECREASE

HT: (Partial) Market Ticker