Mass Wanderings

Circumstances, exigency, results.

Went to Holyday Mass at the Basilica. Nice job of decorating the place for Christmas, relatively straight-up "say the black/do the red" conformity (a few digressions, nothing horrific.) Organist is decent, vocalist was very, very well-trained and nicely voiced.

A woman came in about 5 minutes before Mass and sat down next to me. Looked innocent, didn't sing a note of the stuff in the "liturgy guide," but then came the (spoken) Our Father.

Turns out she's a Dramatic Speaker. You know, "Our FAaaa ther, Who AAAArt in HEEEEAAAAAven,...." (Lento, not quite Largo--the objective is (apparently) to get to the end of the prayer about 20 seconds after everyone else.)

And that, my friends, is disconcerting.

I'm certain that 'Dramatic' is not listed as a 'quality of the Mass.'

And I am not convinced that Dramatic Pray-ers will go to the head of the line at St. Pete's Gate.

But if they do, you'll know who she is: all in purple winterwear, with a purple T-shirt underneath which quotes one of the Gospels.

Purple/white Adidas, too.

Won't be hard to see or hear. She'll converse Dramatically with St. Pete.

I hope he's patient.