Stolen from Grim.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
"Tony, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
"She quickly drank the whiskey on the way down, knowing the bottle would shatter and go to waste otherwise and just then her parachute opened and she landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
"She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last enemy with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?''
"Stay far away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."
Heh.
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