Secret NYTimes Document Uncovered

...right at Planet Moron, of all places!!

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one Newspaper to dissolve the political bands which have connected it to its country, a decent respect to the opinions of Arianna Huffington requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Journalists are created more than equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Sources, Leaks and the pursuit of a Pulitzer. --That to secure these rights, Newspapers are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the stockholders-That whenever any Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Editors to expose classified information, and to help institute a new Government, organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to increase circulation.

There's more here.